One More Sweet Nightmare
I dream the same dream every nightAnd each night it hurts a little less
The details fade a little more
And every morning I'm more aware of this half-closed wound
In the back of my mind
Sometimes in the middle of the short days
It blindsides me
And I gasp
Stumble as I walk
Blink hard
Straighten my shoulders
And pray God no one saw that time
I try to shrug out from under this thought
But it tangles itself into my hopes and fears
Neither of which will ever leave
I can't decide if this will leave me better or worse off than it found me
Stronger or just hardened again
Prouder or humbled
Fiercely independent or pliable and giving
Here I sit
Falling asleep again
Filling my head with anything to chase this dream away
But halfway through the night it finds me
Pulls me back down
Sinks its teeth into my skull
And I give in to the lie
Daylight shoots through my windows
A lance to pierce dreams
And I cry out
Anger pouring like wine into the water of pain
Changing its color and taste
So not even I can call it what it is
I'm giving in to the weakest part of my being
And telling myself it's called having faith in humanity
I've always been able to justify myself in anything
And this time
I'm the only one who feels the wound
That's how I like it, though
I'd rather be hurt by you than hurt you
Any of you
Myself, I can heal
You...
You I cannot even touch
Copyright ©2003, Emma N. Davis
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