I walk in the air, between the rain, through myself and back again. Where? I don't know.

My God, my God, why are your children so dogmatic?

This is the essence of an AIM conversation between me and David. He type the thing up for his blog, however, so I'm posting it like this. I've made a few changes. If you want to see the original, go see his blog.

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So the sermon today at David's church was on sexual immorality. The preacher was making all these comments about how humans are too weak to withstand any sexual temptation whatsoever. And the only way to do it is by following the Bible which says "Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18). So any situation where a male and female are alone is bad, because you're going to give in, and he was so ready to stand up and scream "What are you talking about?!" This is just so wrong ... I've spent more time alone with various males than I care to think about, and this other is complete ... you know.

Then there was this whole five-minute session about the blindness of Christianity. Which isn't what HE called it, naturally; it's what David calls it. The blindness of Christianity being, of course, the idea that anything non-Christian cannot be good. Because, hey, they're all evil sinners. And they have nothing to teach us. Horrible, evil people. Losers, every single one of them.

And then there was this line about myths: Myths don't apply to our lives, but the Bible does. That's why the Bible isn't a myth. David wanted to throw a dictionary at him, and I have to say I know the feeling. You know those times when I turn and look at Brian and he and Stan are looking expectantly at me, and we all know what's up? I think this is along the same lines. A myth is meant to apply to life! That's why they're written in the first place!!!

I'm not sure I can do this whole dogma thing. I keep coming up with all these sarcastic remarks. And I have far too many questions for my own "good" in this church. *sigh* I hate this. There are good people in that church. Smart people. And they won't ask any questions that might bring any attention to the fact that there are philosophies and questions about the Bible! I like the basis on which the church is formed. I just don't think it's being executed entirely properly. One of David's friends put it best: "Humans jack things up. We touch it, it breaks."

So much for Acts 17:11.

If we're afraid to question our faith, we don't have faith to begin with. David had someone tell him, "If evolution is the reason someone loses faith in God, they had no faith to begin with." And he's an atheist.

I hate this feeling, though. That I can't stay, can't go ... I'm trapped between conscience and more conscience, wondering where God is in the midst of it, and wanting to know why people are satisfied with what they have when it sucks! I dunno. Sometimes I get the urge to just leave. I mean, honestly, really, once and for all, leave. It's scary, really.

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It seems so pointless to spend time pointing fingers at other Christians. But evangelistic Christianity means you have to point fingers. And denominationalism means that you're going to point fingers at every little difference. What's worse is it's based in self-righteousness. One tiny problem: we aint righteous. We're not even decent, most of us, which is why we turn to God to save our sorry souls. We need Him, and the fact that we admit that does not make us qualified to sit in judgment. The worst part is when we absolutely believe in our judments and expect God to behave as we expect Him to. If we could understand the mind of God, we'd be God instead of Him.

But, oh wait, that's heretical thinking. No decent Christian would think that!

"You know you've made God in your own image when He hates all the same people you do."
--Anonymous

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This part, unfortunately, doesn't work in anything BUT conversation format. Don't choke reading it, okay? Let me be the heretic, and you stay safe by not judging me.

Emma: Do they say you can't listen to any music that isn't Christian?
David: No. They do, however, claim that any TRUE disciple will, by his own choice.
Emma: Aha. Well, my church takes it a step further and says we CAN'T.
David: *sigh* The only reason they don't? They can't find any Scripture that says not to, so they call it "a Romans 14 thing." They have a NAME for stuff they can't find Scripture condemning. Well, maybe it's my name, but the point stands. It's a way of guilting you into doing what they want you to do.
Emma: They're good at the guilt thing, aren't they?
David: Yes.
Emma: Besides, I figure I'm going to Hell for watching movies, so...
David: Sounds good. We'll do lunch.
Emma: Okay. Fried. Everything will be fried.
Emma: *drops her head into her hands* It's such a mess, this thing.



Bottom line, though: I love you guys, I love our church, I love our pastors, and I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving when I go to Boston, either, I'm transferring.
However.
Viva la revolución!

posted by Emma @ Monday, September 08, 2003