I walk in the air, between the rain, through myself and back again. Where? I don't know.

So this is really weird. It's 11:13 at night, but because I woke up at 4:30 this afternoon, there's no way I can get to sleep. Bah. Remind me not to go to bed at 7 a.m. ever again unless I absolutely have to. Apparently my aunt was up while I was still asleep, and now she's asleep... which would follow, I suppose. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I'm awake and everyone else is asleep. There's nothing to do. I can't write anything because there's nothing to say. I don't even want to listen to music. If that doesn't scare you, nothing will. On the other hand, I'm sort of enjoying the solitude. Disneyland is a lot of people in a really small space, which can get to me.

One thing I realized on the trips down and back is that California can really be ugly. The entire Central Valley is a dustbowl right now, except for the orchards and fields, which they water, of course. LA itself is really a mess. Orange is pretty, but it's an urban pretty. A new urban pretty. Where I was, nothing has been around very long, which leads me to suspect that the entire place could get up and walk off if we turn our backs.
It wasn't until I reached Napa that I breathed deeply and thought, "Oh, how beautiful." Granted, I'm biased, but Northern California is just beautiful. Southern California has to be made beautiful. That's the main thing that bothers me about it.
Don't misunderstand: I truly like going to Southern California and hanging out there, it's just that if I thought I had to live there, I would choke. My cousin, on the other hand, loves the place, and so does my aunt.

posted by Emma @ Monday, July 28, 2003