Friday, January 09, 2004

Random Thoughts

Eh. Food tastes really gross today. I couldn't really sleep last night, and when I did, the dreams were more than bizarre. I think it's because I was really tense about half an hour before I went to sleep. *shrugs* Who knows. Some days I love Linkin Park, and other days I just want to kick my computer when it plays them. I washed my hair. It's going to take hours to dry with this weather. I'm going out with my grandma. Gotta go pay that phone bill (yes, my money) and then I want to go buy a watch. Seriously, I'm thinking it might help with this "What time in the morning is it? Oh, wait, it's three in the afternoon" problem. *laughs* I'm just used to depending on my cell phone, so I stopped wearing a watch some time last semester. Bah. Anyway.
I'm aching to get back to the theater, and not just for the fabulous people. I never thought I'd miss the smell of sawdust, but I do. I want to paint something. I want to get my paws on the "Stage Manager's Handbook." I want to audition, to see what I'm made of as far as acting material. Look, let's just restate my beginning sentence: I'm aching to get back.

To my youth group friends and anyone else who cares to hear:
Life is never going to go the way you expect it to. Ever. If it does, it's a fluke. Don't expect it to last, because it won't. That's not the test of whether you're living the life the way you're supposed to, you know. If things don't go according to plan, it's okay. What's NOT okay is wigging out about it and shutting down. "I can't live this! This isn't what I was supposed to live!" Yeah, so? Get up. Come on, I mean it, get up and live this thing. You'd be amazed what you'll see if you just keep walking. No, not if it's wrong, but how about re-examining your ideas about "wrong?" Living in this world is not a defense exercise. It really isn't. Danger is lurking around every corner, sure, but if you're going to say God is guiding your life and protecting you, then stop being so afraid of everything. YOU ARE NOT THE POINT. Keeping yourself happy, safe, inside the lines and secure just isn't where it's at. Get OUT OF YOU and do what scares you out of your mind. Seriously. Just once. You may die, who knows, but something tells me you won't. You'll learn things that will stretch your perception of truth, and that will hurt. A lot. Just remember that truth remains, whether or not we're willing to face it. That doesn't really matter. It's not a subjective thing; only our views of it are.

Well, if that made any sense, I'm luckier than I give myself credit for. Puck, I'd wager you know what I mean, but these days, that should hardly surprise me anymore.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home