I walk in the air, between the rain, through myself and back again. Where? I don't know.

...exhausted.... and insane ..................

yeah so i got one hour of sleep last night and i want to sleep so badly but i'm almost in tears so confused and why do things have to be so difficult and the only sane moment i had today was turning to go to my house to get my normal clothes and justin calmed me down and said simple sane things and i was able to listen and believe he meant them and just go with it as he says and then from there i went manic again so nice laughing smiling as i go insane but i'm not going insane, i just need sleep so badly and it doesn't really help that i had coffee again i think i'm becoming one of the people i used to lecture and why should i care it's not as if i need to do anything that really requires my brain except today my friends were running circles around me for the first time in a long time and enjoying it like justin said a solar eclipse or a triple-play and it's so rare you just have to watch and he means more than watch take advantage of enjoy like it'll never happen again and it won't if i can help it tomorrow is coming so fast i can hardly remember why i wanted to go back to school so badly except that i love it and tomorrow being in stagecraft will be so comforting and yeah the people who are keeping me sane are also the ones driving me crazy all watching expecting something to happen everyone wants to know what move i'll make but i don't have space to move, only to run headfirst into obstacles and sit and weep wondering why i was running in the first place

you know they say lack of sleep makes you insane

i think it just disables my desire to use punctuation

not that i can't

i'm gleeful in the knowledge that i'm not using it and i don't care and i almost hope it worries you when you see this

tomorrow i will be sane

and i will take my own back

paint and glue will fly

and i will look okay again

and speak well

puntuate my sentences

spar in a manner worthy of my opponents

and be truly happy

not manic

i hate coffee

never drinking it again

??is this normal??

posted by Emma @ Wednesday, January 21, 2004